28th June, 2016
I was reminded of a great quote from Robert McCloskey – it goes like this…
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Have you ever heard yourself say any of the following?
- I know just how you feel
- I totally see what you mean
- I’m just the same in situations like that
- You’ll love this / hate this
- I’m having exactly the same thought
The truest responses to these are likely to be along the lines of:
- No you don’t!
- Are you sure?
- How do you know?
- Oh do tell me what am I thinking?
… And yet this type of statement tends to very often simply be accepted without question.
Reality is Subjective
We are all aware to a greater or lesser extent that our version of “how things are” at any moment in time will differ from the perspective of any and every other person. The difference can be seemingly small or conversely it can be vast… the point is… like it or not… the world of others IS different to ours.
So why does this matter?
Well firstly in day-to-day life it can feel comfortable to think that we are not alone in our reality and it can be really easy to think that others share our opinions and biases.
When an individual expresses a point of view very different to ours, it is generally acknowledged in some way. Whether that is to explore it through debate and discussion, to reject it and argue why we are right and they are wrong, to accept it and agree to differ or perhaps even to ignore it, sweeping it under the carpet…
You will hopefully note that the majority of the above responses are less than functional options!
But what happens when differences are less overt – for example in everyday life? I’m talking about the subtle differences in stance that can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of transparency. You see we can all forget to question for clarity: to ask, to listen, to check in, and to acknowledge difference.
NLP is the Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience
Lets break that down:
NLP contains a number of theoretical models we can apply to our experiences to create a temporary sense of structure in order to make sense of things. These models are not truths. They are simply frameworks we can analyse (study) communication with and come up with hypothesis about what might be happening subjectively within others and ourselves at any point in time.
More than theory!
It is all very well to study and acknowledge we are each different, but since it is our behaviour that enables us to express ourselves within the world… it is helpful to develop flexibility in how we respond to the new insights we make… As luck would have it… NLP offers tools and techniques to translate this sharpened sense of consciousness into action, enabling alternative approaches and responses and a greater flexibility in the situations we find ourselves within.
Why is all this useful?
Well… it gets us curious about what else is going on at a much deeper level when we interact. We become awake and alert to all communication, actively engaging with the environment and others rather than passively half hearing, half observing, not really noticing potential meaning.
We become present within our own mind and body – and as a result our experiences become richer. We notice our internal responses, thoughts and physiology. Questioning our interpretations we become aware that we have influence in how we perceive our world.
With our thoughts shaping our reality we become more adaptive in our cognisance and as a result we create a greater sense of hope and choice. Our values emerge through questioning and through this awareness our life gains purpose. Behaviour becomes a facilitator for compassion for both ourselves and for others. Our negative emotions become information, whilst those emotions that light us up exist to immerse ourselves fully within – providing resourceful anchors to call upon at any point in time.
Life shifts when we consciously acknowledge and have gratitude for alternative realities. Without this our communication becomes lazy, lacking clarity and the personal alignment to express ourselves fully.
You will all know people whose eyes shine; they glow with a lust for life. Their positive energy is truly uplifting as you observe them living a meaningful life – whatever that is to them. Maybe that person is you… I dearly hope so.
They / You may or may not yet have studied NLP – but for certain there will be many NLP models and approaches consciously or less consciously in play within this authentic life being truly lived.
Learning NLP helps to recognise how we go about life when things are effortless and successful and conversely how we go about our day when they are not – those moments you might describe as “not your finest hour”.
The awareness gained through NLP and an intention to make the most of the finite resource we are each afforded (time), whilst living compassionately for others and the planet can lead to deeply meaningful life actions and a new level of connection:
If you have a loved one or best friend – Think now: What are their core values deep down? What is their reason for being? How fully are they living their life and what concessions are they making? How present are you when you are with them, do you really listen, do you really observe? What do they love most about you and you about them? What pattern within you do they find least easy to be around and loving them as you do… What would you like to do about this? How about your life, how meaningful is it? Which areas of your life would you like to ignite with greater passion? What habits would you like let go of and which patterns work really well for you? The list of questions goes on once we begin to get curious…. Each insight shifting awareness and reality, creating awareness for more aligned action.
If you have thought about studying NLP and not yet taken action – please get in touch to come and spend three days at the coast on our ANLP Accredited NLP Intro Diploma… shift your reality and as a result expand your opportunities!
Working with small groups to ensure depth of learning. You can reserve a place on the next programme now, so what are you waiting for?
Contact me via email: Lizzi@goingcoastal.blue
Why Learn NLP With Me?
Going Coastal use of embodied neuroscience is distinctive enabling you to find both an internal and external “sense of place” through blending NLP with applied environmental psychology and neuro-conservation.
This course will help you identify how you perceive the world around you for example the frameworks you use to assess whether things are: good or bad, right or wrong, desirable or necessary etc.
Your senses will be challenged to discover whether you are, in fact, really paying attention to the world around you or if you are operating on autopilot with dulled senses much of the time.
You will learn how you can notice more, to be more present and aware in order to connect more fully with others and make decisions based on information rather than assumptions.
You will learn and experience a range of techniques and language patterns that will enable you to have greater clarity, flexibility and influence.
Exploring your values and motivations will ensure the goals you set yourself are meaningful and you will begin to develop approaches to help you manage your energy and emotions.
And you will gain so much more!!!
I look forward to seeing you on one of these courses soon!